MMP Episode 73: The Podcast Episode I Never Wanted To Publish; The Ugly Side Of Manifesting
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Opening
I feel like it's time for me to get real with you. This is truly a podcast episode that I've been trying very hard not to do. But as a long-time manifester, I've honed my connection to universal forces and to my inner guidance too. And I know darn well that I've been avoiding and procrastinating and putting this thing off every which way I can. Let me explain because this might not be what you expect to hear from me. Again, it isn't something I expected to put out there. But in the end, I'm doing it, so you don't feel so alone. When you're consciously co-creating and things might not be working out for you. Today, I'm letting you into my life a little bit and what I do when things aren't going to plan.
You know that if you've listened to me for any length of time, that I'm an optimist; no matter what I'm confronted with, even when it's the ugliest thing that I can imagine, I always believe in the best, and I consciously manifest things that are best for my life. I've always asked for things, saying that I believe this, whatever this is, or something better is coming into my life. And I truly do believe it. Part of that is because I know the possibilities I've had the miracles happen for me. And I understand to a good degree what I've done in the past to get accurate manifestations. And I want you to be able to do the same thing at all times. And that's why I do the podcast. But while I give you a lot of manifesting tips coming from situations and benefits of what I've experienced and witnessed, I'm human; I still struggle sometimes with the asking part I struggle with receiving at times too. And feeling worthy. The good stuff is sometimes a problem for me. I work on it, usually every day.
And then, every once in a while, when things are going really well, life throws us a curveball when that we did not expect. And I've talked about that a fair bit too. Recently that's happened to me. And it's normal because that's what life does. It helps us to grow and expand our mental, emotional, and spiritual containers if we allow it to teach us, but it isn't always easy to do. And I've hit one of those times in my personal life. It's bringing me to a place that is super, super uncomfortable for me to be in. And I like to call this the ugly side of manifesting.
Look, the only honest-to-goodness reason I'm doing this as a podcast episode is that I've asked for guidance with a situation that's going on in my life right now. And I've asked for divine guidance more than once on this, and every time I get the same answer, and I'm not liking it very much. The answer that keeps coming to me is that I need to be vulnerable. And I need to open myself up so I can get past some of my own barriers. Simple as that. It's telling me that the limits I put up to protect myself have to go. And I have to do this because the way I normally manifest things isn't going to work this time. Truth be told, I genuinely have a hard time letting people get to know me. So letting you in on this isn't going to be easy. I tend to hold back on some things until I feel I can really trust someone. So today, I'm going for it. I'm sharing a personal circumstance that I'm working through right now. And in doing so, I hope that you can understand that as we grow into ourselves. The learning never stops, and the lessons they're all earned.
It's time for The Magnetic Me, You + Law Of Attraction Podcast by Illuminated You Lifestyle Coaching.
The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly
Hi, welcome. I'm glad you're here today. And I want to thank you for spending this time with me today. I'm Marcie Robinson; I'm a manifesting coach. And I'm a mentor. I'm also an example of what manifesting is and isn't in a very real human day-to-day way. So in this episode number 73 (I said 74, but that's wrong!), which feels very raw and painful for me to do, I'm letting you in on some of what's going on in my life.
So let me start by saying, despite all my years of manifesting, I'm just like you; I've got days when I want to stay in bed, really and truly. And then I also have days where I feel so so blessed that I want to burst with excitement for all the good in my life. And then there are some days when I'm doing what I need to do to get by as we all do. And here's where things take a turn for me and lead me to the situation that I'm currently in.
In the past, I've been burned out and stressed out by coaching, particularly one-to-one coaching. And hey, if you think that you want to be a coach, don't let that dissuade you. It's fantastic to see real changes happening with your clients. It's so rewarding to witness a transformation. In fact, it's addicting for a lot of us coaches. The thing is that I've done a lot of one-to-one coaching over the years, and it takes time and effort; you can only do so much at one time with one client. And in the end, I'm the type of person who takes on a lot of energy from those that I'm working with. It's just part of who I am. And I take steps before each session to try and safeguard myself. I also do a lot of energy-release exercises afterward to clear and maintain my energy.
So, for the last few years, as I've been working one-to-one with people, the urge to create more group coaching and memberships and courses has been very, very hard for me to ignore. It doesn't even feel like a choice. It's something that I've been called to do as part of my own spiritual growth and expansion. I want to have that community that I've been missing. Look, I spend a lot of time by myself during the day. And my communication is mostly over the phone or by Zoom. And yeah, I do have a community with my clients and some students. But I do feel like I need to welcome more people to what I'm bringing to life. I've worked on this a lot, particularly during my spare time at first. And now it's really starting to extend into a regular part of my coaching business. And as always, I work on manifesting the right opportunities and the right people to fill up the offers I'm creating.
Last year, I felt changes coming on in the way that I do business like a lot of businesses did. And at the end of 2020, I got the nudge that I had been confident I would get from my guidance. And it was a nudge to go forward in a much bigger way with my plans. At the time, my plans were to finish up with the one-to-one clients I had and to jump right into sprucing up what I've been working on and getting it into the full light of day where you can see it. I finally had the green light. And I jumped right in. But here's the thing...
Since I have done that, in fact, almost from the first moment, I started to shift into this new and improved type of business. It's been one thing right after the other for me. It's made me wonder at times if there's been a huge miscommunication going on between myself and my guidance. But as I've been going through this time asking for more answers, I've been told to stay strong and to just keep moving forward with the changes to my business.
Here It Comes...
Here's where we get to the situation that's bothering me the most right now. Earlier this year, I had to take my 14-year-old dog to the vet because she had a growth in her mouth, and the vet wasn't too concerned. I had them book the surgery, and the growth was successfully removed. She healed very well. The pathology, though was not what I expected. They told me that the thing they cut out of her mouth was malignant melanoma. And at the time, the news was that cancer had not attacked her jawbone. However, the growth would probably return at some point. Now I know some people are going to say it's just a dog, but that's not how I feel about her. Nobody else in my house feels that way, either. She's part of our family. It's a devastating prognosis and add to that the loss of our other three dogs and our bunny over the last few years. It's not been easy for us to be at peace with this.
And we were referred to a veterinary college. They said that they needed to remove a part of her jaw to ensure that she'd have a good chance at a decent life expectancy. But they can't promise us that it would work. And it would be hard on her. She's only five and a half pounds. She's also over 14 years old. So we decided not to do that at the time. And I'm not denying that they saw cancer cells; I lost my dad to cancer. I was nine years old at the time. He died when he was only 45. So I know how brutal it can be.
But I also know it's better to walk by faith than by sight. And I wanted to create the right type of environment in my dog's body for the good cells to flourish and thrive. So, I decided that energy work would be just as good for her right then. And I've also had her on other homeopathic types of support for her system. The tumor stayed at bay for five months. And in the meantime, I worked on my memberships and the other things in my business, believing that good things were happening.
What's The Deal Now?
But since then, there have been several other things that have made it a little bit difficult for me to move forward with my business plans. But I kept looking forward and working with the right energy to bring solutions. And then, I had a long-awaited opportunity to invest some money into my business, which I did. It was something that I had been affirming and using guidance on for quite some time, but I kind of felt it was still off in the distance. But all of a sudden, things opened up, and the opportunity was there, and it was possible. I took it!
To be sure that I'd be okay after parting with my money. I took on four new one-to-one clients. Now, right after I'd invested a good chunk of money in this thing, the growth in my dog started to return. Right now, if I did not see the tumor there, I wouldn't even know that there was something going on with her that's not normal. She's just as lively and energetic as she's ever been. She eats well; she looks forward to car rides and walks. She doesn't even seem to be in pain or complain. Ever. She still has time with us, provided I can get her another surgery to remove the growth again. And I know that it needs to happen soon---time is of the essence here.
So, I went to book another surgery for her because the tumor is growing aggressively. The problem is that the money is no longer there. Now, please understand that I have manifested multiple 1000s of dollars in mere hours for things over the last two decades. One time, it was a course I wanted to take; another time, it was something in the house that needed repair, and the list goes on and on. I have manifested money when I've needed to for two decades. I've even done it a couple of times when I didn't need to, just to prove to myself that I can. So when I work with clients, and they tell me that they want to win the lottery or have millions. I've got to admit I don't quite understand. I've never felt I needed to have millions of dollars in the bank to be happy because I know that I can manifest it at any time in a million different ways.
Oh, What To Do?
So what did I do? I did what I've always done before I put out my request to the God of the cosmos. I've been on the lookout for signs of physical manifestation about to happen. I've made requests for guidance, and I've detached from a very emotional issue as much as I can. I'm working on my own energy every day, and over the last two weeks, the money.... it still isn't here. I know the time is running short on this. And quite frankly, this is embarrassing! It's perplexing to me. I have done exactly as I've done many times before, with great results. I'm a grown woman; I'm an entrepreneur; I know how to make money, and I know how to manifest money. And here I am, willing to do whatever it takes.
But it's still not here. And then even the pay that I'd expect it to get in budgeted into the business from my most recent clients. That's dried up, too, because three of the four of my current clients cannot pay me. So what am I supposed to do? I cannot blame them for things that have happened in their lives that have made it difficult for them to pay me, but in the last 20 years, I have never had three clients at one time not able to pay me anything.
So I've got to ask myself, what's different this time?
My questions about myself and what I'm doing on this are numerous. And my guidance has had me doing a lot of things I'm having a hard time doing, but I'm following it anyway. I know I've got to because I have to be open; I've got to surrender to the powers of the cosmos because I know I can't control this the way my inner Control Freak wants me to. Even though my first instinct is to find a bunch of new clients and go back to working on one-on-one coaching and maybe even ditch the idea of growing my business. But I promise you, the more I have done to control the situation, the further away the solutions feel.
So, the first thing my guidance told me to do... get this because I could barely believe it!
My inspired action in the last week was to set up a GoFundMe campaign; you might be asking how I know this is what I'm supposed to do. And there were several ways that I know this
- first, I had a dream that I did it and that it was going well. And I ignored that, of course.
- and then, while I was on social media over the course of a few days, I came across like 50, GoFundMe campaigns for different things. That's way more than usual for me, and I ignored it.
- and then finally, while I was out shopping, I heard three people, three is a personal number for me, by the way. Three different people were talking about go fund me during my shopping trip, all in different places. This was just stuff I was overhearing. So finally, I can no longer ignore what I'm supposed to do for my dog.
But in my mind, a page like that is for other people. It's not for me; I donate to these things. I've even manifested money to donate at times, but I don't start a campaign for something like this. But as soon as I thought that to myself, I was also put in my place like I got a mental slap. A little voice in my head said, "Be humble, Be grateful, you're gonna learn a lot."
And it's not that I'm not normally down to earth and grateful, but still... So, I swallowed my pride. And I've put up a GoFundMe page for the people in my life. It was so, so hard for me to do that, from beginning to end; I didn't even ask the bank for a loan, never mind a friend or a family member, even to help my sweet, elderly, adorable puppy dog. And the entire time I was putting it up, tears were streaming down my face because I'm angry, I'm angry I've been told to do this. And I'm sad, and I'm scared about the condition of my dog.
And then I sheepishly asked a couple of friends to share it. And they did. Even though I want so badly right now to go and delete that page, I won't because I keep hearing that same little voice say to leave it up, put it here, put it there. And every time a donation comes in, I've got to tell you, I am so humbled by it; I can't even tell you how grateful I am for each one.
So, let me share with you what else I'm hearing from guidance.
- The first thing is that every physical manifestation that happens while it is put together by Source energy and delivered by universal forces is worth the wait. And I have to believe that this is going to be no exception to that.
- But it also comes through other people, and it just does because we live with other people on this physical plane.
And that means that I have to work on my self-worth because I feel so guilty, I feel so embarrassed.
But the universe is telling me that I have to get better at receiving.
And when I spoke with a mentor who's very involved in business, she said she thinks it might be because I want to move forward with my business in the way that I'm being shown to. And to do that, I'm gonna have to get used to asking more people for money in ways that I'm not used to. And I'm gonna have to be able to accept it graciously. And yes, it's hard for me to sell. I try. And even though I suck at it, I'm not good at it at all. The Law Of Attraction has been gracious enough to bring me all the people who want to work with me.
But my mentor reminded me I'm good at what I do. And I'm always willing to learn what I don't know. I need more confidence. And darn it, she's right about it. So truth be told, despite the many courses that I have taken on different topics that other people swear by to grow their business. And despite my putting some of that information to good use, I've been holding myself back big time.
I try to follow my guidance. And this time, it's telling me to move forward in a very big way. And this time, I have to do it because the stakes are really high for me. And that's scary.
So what am I going to do today and every day until the full amount of the money I need shows up for that surgery?
⭐Well, I'm gonna have to turn away from what I see and instead see things from the end of that manifestation.
So that's what I'm going to do. Look, I know the money's there; I'm just not seeing it yet. And I know that whatever happens, my dog is getting that surgery as soon as humanly possible, and she's going to be with me a while longer. Either that or spontaneous healing is taking place.
So I'm gonna go. I'm going to do my energy work, and I'm going to learn more about different modalities for healing because I know it's what I need to do right now; it's going to calm the "I need to do something" frame of mind that I'm sitting with.
Calm energy is good energy.
Closing
Now, I'm sorry if I've been rambling. But I know that when my blocks over this are cleared and the physical manifestation is received, is going to be worth it, and I can free my sweet little pup from something that's bothering her so much.
If you actually hear my ramblings as a podcast episode, you're gonna know that I was divinely inspired to publish it; I really don't want to. And if you don't, hey, that's good too.
Either way, I want to thank you so much for being part of my podcast. Obviously, you are the best part of it. Now I'm gonna go and relax as much as I can and control the only thing I can, which is my energy, and I'm going to be on the lookout for more divinely inspired actions. I'm gonna get my shine on. I hope you do, too, because the world's always a better place for it. And I'm going to concentrate on sending good vibes your way. Take care. I'll be back soon.
Reminders & Wrap-Up With Gratitude 💜
Thank you for joining me on this journey today to explore a few of the myths and ways you can test and adopt manifesting. I hope this episode has shed some light on how people can be misled by inexperienced opinions or can have different perspectives about this intriguing concept.
So, keep practicing with confidence and knowledge to create your reality with intention and purpose. I know that you have the power in you to manifest your dreams and desires because I believe in your unlimited potential.
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