Empowerment Through Self-Talk; Emily's Journey From Self-Doubt To Spectacular Success
The Magnetic Me; You + Law Of Attraction Podcast - Episode 79
0:00 TIMESTAMPS ANNOUNCEMENT
Opening
01:21 OPENING: EMILY'S SUCCESS STORY
Once upon a time, in a small town, there lived a life/manifesting coach; that's me, by the way. But this story isn't about me; it's about my client Emily. To know Emily is to love her; she has this adorable personality and happens to be a magnet for really funny mishaps and quirky adventures. Needless to say, her stories are a lot of fun to listen to. But there is one area where Emily struggles more than others: worry and self-doubt. And when I first met her, these struggles were taking over her life. Let me explain how:
- Em hesitated to take part in social situations that could have been a lot of fun for her. In some cases, these social events could have led to some fantastic opportunities. Today she regrets having passed up on going to some of them.
- Overthinking every single decision she had to make drove her mad, and she felt exhausted all the time. Of course, her overthinking had a lot to do with her perfectionism, and she had impossibly high standards for herself.
- Worse, she procrastinated on getting things done and often felt overwhelmed by both the small and the large picture.
- Emily avoided taking any risks because she was too afraid she might just succeed. And, of course, she also avoided facing challenges that came along too.
It was like she needed someone to validate her ideas and give her a boost of confidence before she could proceed with anything. Her worst fear was being judged negatively. I think a lot of us belong to that club at one time or another. But quite possibly, her worst habit was her negative self-talk, and let me tell you, it showed.
At that time, Emily was full of limiting beliefs, and her low self-esteem created a lot of anxiety and stress for her. Unfortunately, none of her relationships, work or personal, were at their best points. It was like her self-criticisms were self-fulfilling prophecies.
No, I didn't think when I introduced the suggestion to reframe her thoughts to help with her inner dialogue that she'd jump for joy. And she was skeptical at first. She only decided to try it because nothing in her life was going as she wanted it to. Her constant negative self-talk didn't seem like it was the make-or-break point in her mind, but in the end, she decided to be open and try it.
So what happened???? Well, you'll have to stick around to find out because it's time for the Magnetic Me, You + Law Of Attraction podcast by Illuminated You Lifestyle Coaching.
Introduction
04:10 Who I Am & Why Magnetic Me
06:38 WELCOME TO EPISODE 79
Welcome to episode 79, manifesting enthusiast! I'm Marcie Robinson, and I'm so happy you've dropped in to spend this time with me today. I hope you're comfortable and you're ready to go!
06:55 EPISODE SETUP: CHALLENGE TO YOU, DEAR LISTENER
This episode is all about the things you tell yourself. So let me ask you this: Have you ever stopped to truly listen to how you talk to yourself? Take a moment to think about this. I'm sure when you do, you can come up with a couple of common phrases or thoughts that run through your mind often. This is especially true for most of us when we make a mistake, or we're faced with a challenge or a setback. See if, by the end of the episode if you can come up with a couple of things that you use to criticize yourself with.
07:35 STORY: EMILY'S SELF-TALK TURN AROUND
Now, let me get back to my story about Emily. Last I told you, I suggested that the first place to look to create some lasting transformation in her life was to look at the way she spoke to herself. That's because previously, I'd noticed that during our weekly session, she'd started telling me about something that had happened since we'd last spoken, and she'd said, "Yeah, I know I'm dumb..." as though it explained why something negative had happened. She also berated herself for an action she'd taken, saying, "Can you believe that I was so dumb?" There were also statements such as "I don't think I can do that" and "I always mess things up!" It didn't take me long to identify her pattern of beating up on herself.
As I said, doing some introspective work on this and becoming more aware of how she treated herself wasn't incredibly exciting for Em. Still, she mustered up her courage and embarked on a journey to find out how bad it actually was. She promised for one week to start taking note of what she said when she said it and how she felt after making negative statements to herself.
The following week, Emily told me she had known she said things to herself that weren't very nice, but she was surprised by three things that came from doing this exercise;
- How much negative talk there was. She couldn't believe that she took soo many opportunities to beat up on herself.
- How it made her feel, and it wasn't good. She said she often felt depressed or anxious after she said something derogatory to herself.
- How much stress it put on her. It kept her mind in a loop of self-criticism that just kept perpetuating itself.
After she'd talked about how the exercise was for her, we talked over a few ways to start reframing her thoughts, and she wholeheartedly agreed to work on that for the next week.
Armed with newfound enthusiasm, whenever she caught herself saying, "I can't do this" or "Something will go wrong," she replaced those thoughts with amusing and positive affirmations. Emily loves a laugh, and she was trying not to take things so seriously, so she tried hard to put some humor into this exercise.
She said she had a very familiar experience, one that you may have had yourself. One time at Costco, the parking lot was full, and she was kind of in a hurry. She started feeling anxious and angry. She caught herself thinking, "I'll never find a parking spot," so she quickly reframed it with, "I am a parking spot magnet, and spaces magically appear wherever I go!" She thought it was a little silly that she was talking out loud to herself and started to giggle. And that instantly made her feel better. She also found a parking spot shortly after. Now, you might say that it's perfectly natural she'd find a parking spot in a parking lot, but it only happened after she had laughed and started feeling better. Changing her thoughts had helped there, and Emily was okay with that.
And she took things to a whole new level, too. Whenever she faced a challenge, she'd entertain herself by thinking of the most comical and exaggerated outcome that could possibly happen. One day, she had a big presentation at work, so instead of worrying about messing up, she decided she'd imagined herself unintentionally performing an impromptu dance routine in the middle of the presentation. She could see and hear all of her colleagues bursting into laughter. The mental image of her own ridiculousness made her more relaxed and confident, and she crushed that presentation!
As time went by and we continued to connect for our weekly sessions, Emily was pleased to note that something different was happening for her. Her newfound positive and playful internal dialogue seemed to be having a beneficial effect. She had attracted a completely unexpected opportunity that brought her a new job that was interesting and aligned with her beliefs and paid her more money. She also stumbled upon an extraordinary coincidence that brought a new friend into her life.
One day, while out for a walk, Em saw a sign for a local talent show. She was intrigued by the thought, and they were offering a terrific prize for the top winner, so she signed up. She practiced a comedy routine and even imagined herself winning the talent show while juggling rubber chickens. And even though she didn't actually juggle rubber chickens, she did win and couldn't stop telling me about how much fun the experience had been.
When she told me the story about winning the talent show, I couldn't help but notice how different she sounded. Her ability to embrace humor and use it to change her self-talk so it was more beneficial for her was working! And when I spoke to her a couple of weeks ago to get permission to tell you about her and her success with changing her inner dialogue, she said she's still in the habit of doing this.
So that is Emily's story. And she's certainly not the only person I've worked with who's been able to successfully improve their self-esteem, mental health, or overall well-being by using reframing strategies. But I'm sure you're wondering if reframing the things you say to yourself can work for you too. So we're going to take a short break so I can tell you about a freebie that I have for you that will work beautifully with today's episode. Then I'll be back to explain how you can manifest more with some of the strategies that I'll discuss then.
Freebie Time
16:11 Get My Latest Freebie, Self-Talk Switch-Ups, Thought
Re-Framing Cards
16:28 WHAT ABOUT YOUR SELF-TALK?
Let's talk now about you and the things you say to yourself. Have you come up with anything that you notice goes through your mind when you've made a mistake or feel unnecessarily critical of yourself?
If so, please leave me a comment, or better yet, find the magnetic me manifesting enthusiast community on FB; the link again will be in the podcast description or show notes on the blog and ask to join. It's a private community for you, and I just started it not too long ago; I'd love for you to join so we can communicate and I can support you. I've got some posts going up in that community about this topic. You can leave me your comments there too.
MANIFESTING THROUGH REFRAMING STRATEGIES
As you know, inner dialogue refers to the constant stream of thoughts and self-talk running through our minds, and it holds immense significance in determining the course of our lives. I want to emphasize here the idea that we're creators, and we're constantly shaping our reality through the thoughts we entertain within ourselves.
Your internal dialogue is important to you because it's a conversation you have with yourself about your beliefs, desires, fears, and expectations. This dialogue shapes your perception of the world, influences your decisions, and ultimately manifests your experiences.
That means you need to become aware of your self-talk and actively direct it toward realizing your desires. If you can do that, you'll be ahead of the crowd because most people unknowingly engage in negative self-talk, constantly affirming limitations, doubts, and worries. Doing so restricts potential and keeps you stuck in undesirable circumstances.
That means one of the keys to transforming your life lies in consciously reshaping your internal dialogue. If we do a good job of it, we can create new neural pathways in our minds and attract experiences that resonate with our aspirations.
✨REFRAMING STRATEGIES
Shifting your mindset and creating new beliefs doesn't usually happen overnight, so it's a gradual process that requires consistent effort. However, using the following strategies can help you make the habit of actively looking for better thoughts.
- 19:18: Identify Problematic Thoughts: Start by becoming aware of the negative thought patterns that arise in your mind. Pay attention to the specific thoughts that bring you down or create self-doubt. Recognizing them is the first step towards reframing them.
- 19:42: Challenge the Negative Thought: Once you've identified an unhelpful thought, question its validity. Challenge the evidence supporting it and consider alternative perspectives. Ask yourself if there's a more positive or realistic way to interpret the situation.
- 20:05: Replace It with Positive Affirmation: Find a positive affirmation or a more empowering statement that you like. For example, if your negative thought is "I always fail at everything," reframe it as "I am capable of learning from my mistakes and achieving success." All you need is one general empowering statement or affirmation to start with.
- 20:40: Practice Cognitive Restructuring: Cognitive restructuring involves consciously replacing negative thoughts with positive and realistic ones. Whenever a negative thought arises, consciously intervene and reframe it in a more positive light. Over time, this practice rewires your thought patterns and establishes a more positive mindset. This is where those free, positive reframing cards will help.
- 21:09: Use Visualization Techniques: Visualize yourself successfully overcoming challenges and achieving your goals. Create vivid mental images of positive outcomes and focus on the emotions associated with those visualizations. This helps shift your mindset and reinforces positive thinking.
- 21:30: Seek Evidence to Support Positive Beliefs: Look for evidence that supports positive beliefs about yourself and your abilities. Recall past successes, compliments, or instances where you handled situations well. Reminding yourself of these positive experiences strengthens your belief in your capabilities.
For more strategies on reframing negative thought patterns, join the Manifest With Marcie Portal for free! I'm there every day, so I hope to see you there.
22:15: WRAP UP 🎀
Before I go today, I will encourage you to challenge yourself to discover harmful self-talk patterns and use these strategies to help correct them. It will make you more magnetic to what you want.
22:35: THANK YOU 💜
I can't express enough how grateful I am for each and every one of you. Your support, feedback, and enthusiasm are what keep me going. It's an honor to be able to share my passion for manifesting with such a wonderful community. I truly believe in your power to manifest your dreams and desires, and I'm here to help you along the way. So, let's keep this adventure going. Together, we can create the life we desire and deserve. Thanks for being awesome co-creative enthusiasts!
23:10: REMINDERS 📃
Don't forget to:
- Subscribe to this podcast on your favorite podcast platform to never miss an episode.
- Share this podcast with friends and family who are interested in manifestation and want to unlock their manifesting powers.
- Leave a review and rating on iTunes or other podcast platforms to help me reach more people and spread the message of how you can co-create the things that are important to you.
- Join my brand new Manifest With Marcie Portal for additional manifestation tips, updates, and discussions.
23:50 CLOSING 🙋♀️
Thanks for being here, and remember to Get Your Shine ON because the world is always so much better for it when you do!
Take care, and I'll see you in the next episode!
PLEASE NOTE THE FACEBOOK GROUP IS NO MORE.
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✨✨ BUT NEVER FEAR; YOU CAN GET A FREE FOLLOWER ACCOUNT AT MANIFEST WITH MARCIE FOR PODCAST EXTENSIONS AND MORE. SEE THE BLOG POST FOR MORE.
