MMP Episode 69: Find The Downside Of Gratitude And Wave A Healthy Goodbye To It
Special Note: A new, shorter podcast ad debuted from 5:53 to 6:53. If you don't want to hear the ad, just skip forward a bit! It's also featured at the end of the episode as well.
Opening
It's time for the Magnetic Me, You + Law Of Attraction Podcast by Illuminated You Lifestyle Coaching.
Welcome to episode 69 of our podcast, it's Marcie Robinson here, and I'm excited to be in this magnetic space of ours. I hope you are, too, so grab a coffee or whatever you like and let's figure out how we can use gratitude to its ultimate effectiveness.
To answer this question about what could possibly be bad about gratitude correctly, I think it's important to know first how gratitude helps you manifest. So let me start by bringing up some of the benefits it has on our mental, emotional, and physical health, and I'm pretty sure some of you could recite these off by heart.
- It can reduce levels of stress and anxiety.
- It can boost our levels of happiness.
- It's even been shown to reduce levels of physical pain in some cases.
- It can also help us bust through barriers that are holding us back. Usually, that's because it helps to squash some of that famous fear of failure that keeps us stuck in our comfortable corners.
So focusing on recognizing the good things in your life seems like a real no-brainer to manifesting enthusiasts like us. You may even be asking how there could be a downside to being thankful? So I've pulled out some of the ways that I've seen it become a problem in my own coaching practice. Let's look at some of the big no-no's to steer clear of when it comes to practicing gratitude.
Faking It Till You're Making It
Most of us are at least a bit guilty of doing this at times. Especially when you're not having the best of days, and there's not a lot of new stuff to be grateful for. If you find yourself trying to force a feeling of thankfulness for a whole lot of nothing, you'll know it can be tough to do. And there's a reason for that. It's because, in that case, at that time, acknowledging the good isn't authentic.
It happens because you're having a bad day or feeling depressed or angry for a darned good reason. Jumping straight into a feeling of gratitude during a time like that could be close to impossible. Not only that but faking gratitude when you're feeling something else will only stop you from dealing with what you're actually feeling at the time. It's okay not to be grateful every moment because lower-level vibrations do exist. And without them, the high, feel-good stuff couldn't exist. There's light and dark in our universe, and we need to know how to deal with both.
Giving Gratitude To Be A Socially Acceptable Human Being
I know I'm going to sound like a parent here, which I am, but still...just because somebody else is doing it, you don't have to. This is especially true if you're feeling pressured to do it because it's the "thing" to do. Popularity has never been a good reason to do anything. And if you don't feel like you appreciate anything, in particular, feeling pressured into giving gratitude isn't going to help; in fact, it could create feelings of unworthiness or depression. If doing it feels painful for you, steer clear until you know the time is right to give thanks.
Using Gratitude To Avoid The Bigger Problem
I've seen some perfectly reasonable people avoid big problems because of all of this talk of gratitude in the last decade or so. It makes them think they should appreciate everything before or sometimes instead of resolving important things.
Not everything is worthy of the type of gratitude people tend to want to level at it. Not every person in your life is going to be deserving of hero status. If you're having problems with relationships, yes, being grateful can help, but don't overlook the positive effect of counseling or other ways to improve relationships. Honesty can be just as appropriate as gratitude.
If the problem is career-oriented, being grateful for your job is definitely a good thing to be but also look into ways to enhance your performance or how you can switch careers without your life falling apart. In other words, use common sense in every situation as well as thanks.
Right now, I'm going to play a different, even shorter ad about the levels of our Powered Up Manifesting Coaching Membership that are already open. I'll be back in a jiff.
Feeling Endebted Into Being Thankful
Remember how I just said that not everybody is going to be worthy of superhero status because they did you a favor? I've had clients who are sooooo grateful for something nice someone has done for them that they want to give, and give and give, sometimes inappropriately so.
Here's the deal, yes, repaying someone's kindness is the right thing to do, but let's not go overboard here; there's no need to get a bit creepy or uncomfortable about it. Sometimes expressing thanks can be simple and straightforward. It should feel easy to demonstrate through words or action and accepted just as readily. But one should never feel like they owe more to someone than what they've got to give. If somebody is making you feel like they deserve more than that, then maybe the favor wasn't really a favor. Low self-esteem can be behind a situation where someone can't give enough, and sometimes they get taken advantage of. Just somethin' to think about.
Doubting Yourself When You Don't Have It To Give
I want to go back to this idea that when you can't feel gratitude for something, it causes feelings of unworthiness and even doubt. This is something I've seen plenty of it during my years of coaching people on manifesting. One of the things I believe is responsible for this is the mighty gratitude journal. People think they should be journalling pages when really a line or two would do just fine.
The idea that you'll always have ten things to be grateful for is a bit misleading and confusing. Many of us don't have or can't recall that much every day. When people get stuck on this and get down about it, they'll ask what else they should be putting down. I've seen journals that list the same 5 or 6 things daily. When challenged to find something new, it can cause some feelings of distress in a person if they can't come up with something different, which is the exact opposite of what the journal is supposed to do.
Another thing I've noticed is that some clients feel like small things aren't as worthy of gratitude as others. That's not true. If something gave you a feeling of joy or excitement or you felt good from a brief phone call or visit with someone, then it's as good as achieving a big goal. I've journaled things like it being my husband's turn to make dinner or his nice compliment about mine. It's often the little things in life that I like to acknowledge the most. So there's no big or small when it comes to giving thanks for something. Please know that. Just because a line exists doesn't mean it has to be filled right now. Just be open to filling the line eventually and see what shows up for you.
Don't get me wrong; I'm not telling you to throw away your gratitude journal because the benefits are there. Just remember these few things when it comes to filling it up to be sure that your acknowledgment of the good in life doesn't go to waste;
- Ensure that before you give thanks for anything, there's a reason for wanting to do it. If you don't feel it, it won't be genuine, and it won't help you manifest anything.
- Deal with your actual feelings, and don't use gratitude as a way to cover them up or avoid them. Embrace the negative ones along with the good ones and know that the darker emotions have a purpose in your life. Find out why they're there.
- Don't be pressured into giving thanks you don't feel. Gratitude should help you feel centered, grounded, and worthy. If it's causing pain, opt out of it for the time being.
- Know that it doesn't make you a terrible person not to feel appreciative even if you think you should. You can still be thankful for your life, your health, and all you have but not be gushing about it every minute of the day.
- Don't use gratitude to avoid or cover up problems. Get help, do the necessary thing, and then you can feel grateful for the resolution.
- Realize your morning cup of coffee can be something to be grateful for just as much as the big success at the day job. Be open and see what shows up.
I want to leave you with a little bit about being graceful. Nobody knows how to give you what you want better than you do. When you lack gratitude, it's sometimes because you don't know how to want what you already have. By using thankfulness to interpret your current situation, you can learn to enjoy more of what you already have. Over time, this learning process will make your life a bit easier and probably happier too.
Closing
I want to remind you that this podcast episode is part of a series on the Law Of Attraction Essentials. All episodes, complete with show notes are here on this blog in the PODCAST SERIES section.
I'm going to leave you with the short ad again today, but before I do that, I want to say thanks so much for being here, and remember to Get Your Shine ON! because with it on, you make the world a better place. I'll see you next week, take care until then.
Do you want to know how you can keep Magnetic Me consistent and strong by becoming part of the Powered UP membership? If so, click on the pic below for more info!