MMP Episode 56 Unlock Complete Self Confidence For Remarkable, Blow-Your-Mind Results
Unless you've been hiding under a rock somewhere, you'll know full well that the way you feel in general has a lot to do with what you're calling into your life at any given moment. So today, I'd like to talk a little bit about how the way you feel about yourself impacts your manifesting abilities. Specifically the role it plays in expectation. We talked a bit last time about how you can get your brain ready for play when it comes to expecting what you want, so if you guess that this is a continuation of that, you'd be right.
In one of my coaching calls about a month ago with a client, we were discussing self-image when it comes to manifesting. In particular, how that plays a role in how quickly what you want will show up. Ryan ( yes, he said it's okay with him if I share his first name and the general conversation we were having, so thanks, Ry). Ryan suffers from low confidence, and it impacts almost every part of his life. Especially when it comes to relationships and his career, he's struggled with this since he was a kid and said he's tried sooo many things to help himself; in fact, he's spent a lot of money dealing with it. Now I'm a manifesting coach, not a confidence coach; you should know that. But what I've experienced and others also have experienced (maybe you too) is that if you don't believe in yourself, especially if you don't believe you can have what you want, it's not gonna show up. So Ryan's question for me in this instance, of course, was how is he gonna deal with that part of manifesting, 'cause he's tried this before. He's been havin' a hard time with the idea that he can get this thing done, which means getting what he wants by learning how to use universal principles.
Here's the thing. The pivotal point to getting the big win when you set out to manifest something in your life is knowing that you are the master of your own destiny. Nothing comes to you without you asking for it in some way. I know that you might be wondering how on earth you asked for this bad circumstance or that terrible thing that showed up for you. I know people are hurting out there right now. I would never deny your pain, and I feel so much for you if that's you right now. I also won't deny that there's a collective consciousness we all belong to that helps create things on a much larger scale that will impact many more people than you and I. But the truth is that I don't know how you came by what you're dealing with right now, and I couldn't even guess because I'm not you. Know that I'm not here to criticize you or blame you for anything. Wherever you are right now is where you are, and no matter how you came to be in the situations that are your external circumstances, I would like to propose that you may want to quit trying to figure it out. I'd like to suggest thinking of what's happened up to now as a life experience. We all have that. But what I do know is that however bleak things may or may not be for you, I know that you have within you all you need to live something better. And you can start right now. You don't even need to grow self-confidence in a hurry, but once you come to understand how supported you are by the universe and the manifesting superpower that you have right now, yes, you have them, you might start feeling more confident very soon. That's good news for Ryan and you too!
WHAT'S THE BIG DIFFERENCE?
First, let's look at what self-esteem and confidence have to do with one another.
SELF-ESTEEM: You should know first of all that I consider self-esteem a bit different from self-worth. I find that lots of people kind of lump them together with the same definition, but it's all to do with perspective for me.
Yes, self-worth is how we think about ourselves and how worthy we feel in our self-respect. Basically, what you believe about yourself having all those things that can make your life so danged good. In other words, do you feel worthy of having just enough money or being super-abundant and wealthy? Do you feel like you're worthy of finding the love of your life and having them be the best part of your every day, or do you suck so much because of the past romantic failures that you don't even deserve a crack at real love? What about having kids? Is that on your would-like-to-do list? Do you believe you can be a great and loving parent that raises a child that's happy and fulfilled and contributes something wonderful to the world? How do you feel about your right to deserving happiness or success? So basically, self-worth to me comes from what we think about ourselves on the inside.
Self-esteem, in my mind, is more how we feel about ourselves based on outward clues that other people and society give to us about how we show up in the world. So if you've ever felt good about yourself and you're contented with who you are, right up to the moment you meet somebody else and compare yourself to them, and you somehow come up short in your mind, that's the difference to me. For instance, feeling less than your colleague because you found out you don't make as much as they do. Maybe you compare your job performance to theirs or their tens of thousands of likes on insta(gram) posts to your piddly 3. Or judging yourself by how you feel around someone you think is better looking than you are or is more successful than you are. Does that make sense?
I think it's very important that you know the difference so that when you go to manifest something into your life, you can untangle the outside world from the inner one. It brings a lot of clarity to the business of managing the proper expectations.
SELF-CONFIDENCE: Of course, confidence is about how you evaluate yourself in terms of what you think you're able to accomplish. Part of that comes from past experiences and how you think about yourself in terms of your future.
So do you feel like you can trust your abilities and strengths to guide you through your life? Do you know what your capacities are and where your limits lie? Do you believe in your own judgment, or do you look to others to validate what you believe? Do you feel like you can successfully navigate everyday situations or overcome challenges that pop up for you?
Having a reasonable amount of confidence is uber important in life because when we feel confident, we feel happier and more successful. We're willing to take chances, big leaps, and make changes that are scary because it's easier for us to manage our fear. Our trust in ourselves tells us no matter what happens, we'll be okay, and we also feel motivated to take actions when necessary, and that's gonna show in up your energy.
HOW HAVING CONFIDENCE MAKES YOUR LIFE EASIER
The benefits of having confidence can impact every area of your life. Now, these examples are subject to each person, but when dealing with people who exude confidence, I've noticed a few things in general. Some of the pleasant ways it can help to have a reasonable amount of confidence are:
- An appropriate amount of confidence can contribute to better mental health and good relationships.
First off, we all know that your mental health matters when it comes to relationships. If you're feeling good about yourself, you'll make better choices in the relationship department. When choosing the people you'll make part of your life for any length of time, you want to know you can be open and show each other who you are. And that you'll accept each other as you are. Maintaining trust on both sides of a relationship will keep you on a more even keel and can help you stay balanced. Your attitude will be more positive overall, and you'll be able to determine when you need help or guidance.
- Your mistakes don't seem like such a big deal.
A confident person will often get over mistakes with less difficulty than somebody else who feels less secure. Not saying they aren't bothered by them at all. But because they believe in themselves, they know that they can find better circumstances and take new or different actions when necessary. Therefore the focus is more easily put on moving forward instead of staying stuck in past mistakes.
- You're less likely to compare yourself to other people.
If we could all have this type of certainty about ourselves so we wouldn't compare our current position or life journey with other people's, we'd all be way ahead of where we'd like to be. You just can't compare yourself or your life to anybody else's, so please don't try. You're here to fulfill your purpose, so keep that in mind when you find yourself analyzing your experiences and accomplishments with that of a friend, family member, co-worker, or anyone else.
- You'll go further in your work life or career.
Self-assurance is a fabulous thing to take with you into your daily job. You're more likely to be doing something you like doing and that you're good at. That means that you'll have lots of opportunities to grow and thrive, which can lead to bigger and better things. Not only that, but you won't be as likely to settle for less, and you might be willing to take more chances because you believe they'll work out.
- Confidence can lead to presenting yourself to others with more open-mindedness.
If you're self-aware and feel sure of yourself, you're usually less likely to over-react to things. That tends to include both situations that aren't as favorable and when someone needs to speak with you about, well, you. So you're less protective of your feelings and more likely to create a response from an honest place and one that's open to developing yourself. You're also more likely to give your honest thoughts and opinions rather than to shy away from tough subjects. So you'll probably get more of what you want in life.
For manifesting purposes,
WHAT IT BOILS DOWN TO IS;
That our confidence is our expectation.
When manifesting, expectation can help us in several ways.
- If we have that inner assurance, we don't feel guilty about asking for what we want from the universe. Knowing that you're deserving of what you want goes a long way to getting it. So many times, when I'm coaching a client, they'll work so hard to know what they want. I do exercises with them, or they do them on their own to crystallize the vision they want to manifest. Then when we get to a new part of my manifesting framework, they'll start wobbling because they think they've asked for too much. Suddenly, I'll get a text or a message saying that they're willing to settle for less. So when I hear somebody tell me that they've been thinking about their desire, I know that they're not feeling worthy of what they've already decided on, and we may be taking a slight detour to get back to where they were starting from.
- Having confidence in ourselves helps us give the universe the time it needs to manifest what we want. Nope, things don't need a tremendous amount of time to show up on their own. Remember, the universe has a greatly expanded view from what we can see. We don't need to worry about things like when or how or if it's showing up. Having confidence and not second-guessing ourselves allows us just to assume we've got what we want. It's easier for us to live in the state of being ready, or more accurately, we live in the state of already having it.
- Our confidence in ourselves is our confidence in the Law of Attraction; remember that we're manifesting all the time. Even right now! Knowing that we can make shifts, however slight, to line up with our desires means less time needed for rituals and techniques, which are great and can really help at different times. But sometimes, we're so intent on them we miss the part about stepping back and having faith. Doing too much of that type of thing can indicate we don't believe or have faith in ourselves or the universe. And you know what happens then.... a whole lot of nothing. Freeing up some of that time you may have been spending practicing techniques can be used for more fun, and who doesn't like that?
The first thing to do to cultivate confidence
KNOW THYSELF!
Start listening to your thoughts to find the limitations that you're putting on yourself. Then start taking some conscious steps to make a change in that area.
- create a limit busting affirmation
- find solutions to a problem
- work on having better habits
- give gratitude for your freedom to choose
Wrap UP
That will be it for today, but...
You might also want to check out my masterclass that's coming up called Raise Your Limits On The Law of Attraction. You might be able to guess I go through main ways we tend to limit ourselves and what we can do about that to increase manifesting mojo. And I walk you through some exercises to help you identify what's holding you back and release your limits. Don't worry; I'll remind you when it's time to sign up for that.
But for now, don't forget to check out our Awesome Energy Amplifying Coaching. It's part of our Powered UP FREE Membership and in it, I explain why meditation and breathing are fabulous ways to control negative energy. Then I take you through three amazing and transformative meditations to get you ready for manifesting. And if you happen to be a Udemy student already, you can find it there too. Add it to your account so Get Your Shine ON. You know you always feel better when you do!
Until next time, take care and watch for the good vibes I'll be sending!
